By Leland Gregory
Best-selling stand-up comedian Leland Gregory deals a blockbuster choice of greater than two hundred strange, bizarre, foolish, surprising, and downright outrageous precise tales approximately historic Greek and Roman history.
New York Times best-selling writer Leland Gregory is one in all Andrews McMeel Publishing’s such a lot winning noncartoon humorists. foolish, surprising, bizarre, hilariously funny—and outrageously true—the brief anecdotes inside of his anthologies of human stupidity are culled from print, on-line, and broadcast media from everywhere in the world. Inside Stupid old History, Gregory chronicles Greek philosophers, Roman conquerors, and ancient mythconceptions, including:
— To struggle off Roman ships in three hundred BC, Carthaginians catapulted stay snakes at them.
— The Athenian lawmaker Draco died of suffocation while presents of cloaks have been showered upon him by way of thankful electorate at an Aegina theater in 620 BC.
— In historic Rome, lengthy earlier than the appearance of the Christian Bible, Roman males swore to “tell the reality, the complete fact, and not anything however the fact” by way of putting their correct hand on their testicles. It is from this ritual that we derived the time period “testimony.”
— Of the Seven Wonders of the traditional global, The Temple of Artemis in Ephesus burned to the floor in 356 BC. The arsonist used to be accomplished; and to ensure his want for eternal reputation wouldn’t come precise, it was once ordered that his identify be from all files and not pointed out again. But humans will talk. Despite all efforts, his identify leaked, and Herostratus is remembered as essentially the most infamous firebugs in history.
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Extra resources for Stupid Ancient History (Stupid History)
Occasionally we will be able to REFUTE a press release via PRETENDING TO believe IT. while FABIA, DOLABELLA’S spouse, CLAIMED TO BE THIRTY, CICERO stated, ‘THAT’S real, FOR I’VE HEARD HER SAY IT FOR THE final two decades. ’” (QUINTILIAN, schooling OF AN ORATOR 6. three. seventy three. ) facets of a Sesterce even if Emperor Elagabalus (A. D. 203–222) married and divorced 5 girls, we all know the names of purely 3 of them. (Cassius Dio, Roman background eighty. nine. ) His first spouse was once Julia Cornelia Paula, the second one was once the vestal virgin Julia Aquilia numerous, after which there has been Annia Aurelia Faustina. (Herodian, Roman heritage five. 6. ) Faustina used to be the widow of a guy Elagabalus had had performed. yet he quickly divorced Faustina and remarried numerous. feels like a true girls’ guy, correct? good, there’s a question approximately that. in accordance with Cassius Dio, his so much unwavering dating turns out to were with a blond slave from chariot motive force, yet whom Elagabalus often called his husband. (Cassius Dio, Roman background eighty. 15. ) one other account claims that Elagabalus really married an athlete from Smyrna named Zoticus in a public rite at Rome. (Historia augusta, “Life of Elagabalus” 10. ) IN ROMAN heritage, CASSIUS DIO WROTE THAT ELAGABALUS might PAINT HIS EYES, SHAVE HIS HEAD, put on WIGS, AND PROSTITUTE HIMSELF IN TAVERNS, BROTHELS, or even THE IMPERIAL PALACE. (80. 14. ) A vintage Prank Emperor Elagabalus invented a prototype whoopee cushion: a few of his humbler acquaintances he might seat on air-pillows rather than on cushions and let loose the air whereas they have been eating, in order that frequently the diners have been all of sudden discovered less than the desk. ultimately, he used to be the 1st to consider putting a semi-circular workforce at the flooring rather than on couches, with the aim of getting the air-pillows loosened by way of slaves who stood on the toes of the visitors and the air therefore let loose. (Historia augusta, “Life of Elagabalus” 2. 2. three. ) CALIGULA MADE ALL 3 OF HIS SISTERS, AGRIPPINA the more youthful, JULIA DRUSILLA, AND JULIA LIVILLA, HONORARY VESTAL VIRGINS, although THEY have been ALL MARRIED. what is in a reputation? A male Roman citizen more often than not had 3 names, a praenomen (a own name), a nomen (a relatives name), and a cognomen (a specific department of the kinfolk, or a nickname). In vintage Roman model, identified for extra, there has been no restrict to the variety of cognomens someone may well affix to his identify, yet nobody else comes just about this man. Take a deep breath and enable me introduce you to Quintus Pompeius Senecio Roscius Murena Coelius Sextus Julius Frontinus Silius Decianus Gaius Julius Eurycles Herculanus Lucius Vibullius Pius Augustanus Alpinus Bellicius Sollers Julius Aper Ducenius Produlus Rutilianus Rufinus Silius Valens Valerius Niger Claudius Fuscus Saxa Amyntianus Sosius Priscus, Roman consul in A. D. 169. His striking thirty-six cognomens have been present in a commemorative inscription at Tivoli, an historical Lazio, approximately eighteen miles east of Rome. (Corpus Inscriptionum Latinarum 14. 3609. ) He was once evidently keen on the identify Julius—he used it thrice.